I have been putting off going to the chiropractor. Today, we didn't go the village like we always do on Wednesdays, so it allowed me to take some time for such things as a chiropractic visit. Here's a brief rundown of my appointment:
Doctor: Oh, are you alone today?
Me: Yes. I'm alone. (I usually come with my supervisor or pastr)
Doctor: Armenian or Russian?
Me: Speak Armenian, please.
Doctor: Bend down. (examines my hip bones for alignment) Stand up. That's not the problem.
Me: Yes, I know. It's my neck. It hurts here (I point to all the places)
Doctor: I see. Sit down. (pops my neck) Take off your glasses. Look down. Look up. Put your hand behind your head and cross your fingers. (pops again).
Sit down over there and take off your shirt.
PAUSE!
HOLD IT!
WHAT?!?!?!
(Did he really just say "take off your shirt?" Why does he want me to do this? He didn't even say why! And the door is open! And that random intern guy is still standing right here!)
UNPAUSE
Me: Take off? (I act out the motion with out actually doing it--Hey! I didn't want to misunderstand and create a huge language MISHAP!)
Doctor and Nurse: Take it off.
Me: (slowly begin taking off the article of clothing and wondering what he's going to do....)
Doctor: Somebody close the door so she isn't so nervous!! Just take it half off. Well, no, it needs to be off.
Me: (not making eye contact but glad the door is closed).
Doctor: (Begins putting this electro-thingy on the places where I have pain) Yada Yada Yada Saying things I don't entirely understand. Some of it's in Russian.
Me: (looking confused)
Doctor: Oh. I was speaking Russian. Do you know why I do that?
Me: Yes.
Doctor: It's because you look Russian.
Me: I know. (or at least that's what I constantly hear!)
Nurse: (finishing the job) It's ok that you don't understand everything. I think you understand very well! Put on your shirt.
Doctor: 3,000 dram (about 10 bucks) You, by all means, must come back tomorrow! And don't carry anything heavy!
Me: By all means, I will try!
Ok, so I hope you enjoyed my awkward dialogue. Apparently, they are not much for modesty in medical settings around here. In fact, I told my supervisor my story and she told me about a recent "take this off" experience she had in the hospital. She said they were very annoyed with her modesty and nervousness.
I won't bore you and tell you about the taxi ride that led up to today's experience. Always something!
Guess I'll be seeing Mr. Doctor tomorrow. Remember me, because I pretty much have to carry stuff around all the time, especially for teaching purposes.
4 comments:
Wow! Sounds like a lot of fun! Your poor neck! I will definitely being praying for you! I'll bet it has something to do with the fact that you sleep in very weird and awkward positions! All those that have seen how Jac sleeps can I get an Amen?!?
Oh man! I'm really proud of you, dealing with the trauma of the chiropractic visit!
Wow...... all I can say is.... wow.
It's strange how different countries have such different takes on the body, modesty, and such. When I was in Frankfurt for my layover on the way home, I noticed that they had a picture of a topless woman on the front of their newspaper! Just the daily newspaper, not some kind of lewd magazine, but the everyday newspaper!
Oh well, different cultures.
I hope your neck is better. Use the cold/hot thing I mailed to you. Do gentle stretchng . Sounds lke another one of Jaclyn's interesting but fun days.
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